Beautiful Control

Sometimes we are reminded that we are in control of nothing.

This past week all three of my babies have been sick. With the Flu. Fevers, throwing up, lethargy, and lots and lots of TV. 

When there is sickness, nothing else is important but taking care of and nurturing the people you care most about. So the dishes pile up, the laundry becomes a mountain, and snuggles abound. 

For the past two days my littlest has been unhappy unless he is being held and snuggled... by me. It's been a transition for me. A transition of priorities. A reminder of the most important gifts in my life.

And it's been a reminder that I have no control.... but there is One who loves me, and loves my kids, who does have control. And when we surrender things to His hands, His control is beautiful.

The past few days I've witnessed my oldest progressing a very scary sounding cough, my middle very lethargic and sad, and my baby growing more and more listless and unresponsive. 

Sure we can do things that might help one thing or another. We've been diffusing essential oils, using a humidifier in their bedroom, and some other things to aid in comfort. But ultimately their life and health is not in my hands. It's in the hands of my Lord, Jesus Christ. 

It's easy to be terrified. It's easy to submit to fear and uncertainty. It is hard to let go and give the situation--and my babies-- to the Lord. 

But the growth of trust and surrender becomes easier when we admit our lack of control. A peace and calming envelopes over us when we submit our fears to the God above.

I'm writing this while holding my sleeping baby hooked up to an IV in the ER. This has not been easy. And I am in awe of people who have chronically sick children. But I have had peace here in this little room. God has met me here. 

As my son kept crying out, I began to hum. My hum turned into a recognizable tune, and as I began to sing it quietly I realized how true the words are, and His peace washed over me.

Our God is an awesome God

He reigns from heaven above

With wisdom, power and love, 

Our God is an awesome God.

Just those simple words... God's wisdom. His Power. And His love. 

That is all I need to focus on to know that my baby is in good hands. 

What a glorious set of truths. What Beautiful Control.